"Women and Men"

If there were no sexual, procreative, nor societal pressures, one wonders if the only relationship between women and men would be adversarial! People have asserted that women and men are of different species entirely. Others insist women come from Venus, and men from Mars - for example. An extreme view might even be that either or both are intergalactic in origin.

Whatever explanation we choose, a completely satisfactory answer eludes us. For that reason, I'd like to suggest a different approach.

Electrical and electronic workers learn quickly that we do not truly know what electricity is. From observations and testing in what electricity does, they can confirm and learn theories formulated by advanced thinkers in the field. They learn a methodology. And the more open-minded that methodology, the greater the likelihood of success. Of particular moment, hands-on is the best way to learn. No matter how many books one reads, personal practice - focussed and sharpened by a coach or tutor - provides the surest source for satisfaction.

When I met the woman who is my Soul Mate, I saw a poster on her bedroom door. Entitled "The Rules," I have found these rules to be exceptionally helpful for men that women deem "trainable." Having written the copyright holder of that poster, I ascertained that the poster is no longer in print, nor any longer copyrighted.

To paraphrase a section: "The female is never wrong. If a male mistakenly thinks a woman has made a mistake, he must immediately apologize to the female for causing the misunderstanding."

Over the course of nights out with my Soul Mate - who is also my wife, I have seen men simply miserable from a misguided attempt to avoid this apology. Even if a man does not truly understand "The Rules," I guarantee he will be pleased with the results of following them to the letter.

Just as in the TV show, "Happy Days," the Fonz struggling over the reluctantly recognized "I was wrrrrrrong," so we men would rather wallow in our pitiful indignation and proud manliness.

Well, not me! I'll never go back to my unenlightened state by my choice. And I never plan to give my Soul-Mate reason to cease her trust in me nor deem me not worthy of further training.

It would be a good idea to go another step here. In the moral development of a child, the concrete obedience to game rules later grows (in some) to an understanding of the principles behind the rules. Likewise, a good move for a male who wants to be a real man - not just a "macho" male - is to seek to discover how better to please his mate. A key here is communication, but non-verbal observation of response can be a great teacher. If a woman is truly pleased, a man will not need to ask, "Was it good for you?"

An even more important key is that of attitude. If a male is intent on what pleases his partner, he will be open to both the non-verbal and spoken hints of the female.

By the way - women, see my tongue-in-cheek "Response to The Rules."